Technically, by some definitions, I’m still a virgin. I mean I’ve never had sex with anyone yet. I haven’t even been eaten out or given a blowjob yet. I’ve seen a boys penis, “live,” but I’ve never even touched one yet. It’s not that I can’t or even that I don’t want to. It’s partly my upbringing, partly my shyness, lots of reasons.
But just because I haven’t done anything, that doesn’t mean I don’t know what to do, or what goes where, or even, sort of, what it feels like. I know enough not to believe what I see or read in porn on the internet (of course I see that stuff). And I don’t have a boyfriend, but I do have – I overheard the term used teasingly in the girl’s locker room – a toyfriend. I only have the one, because that was hard enough to get, but, well, it’s perfect. It’s a little textured, so I can really feel it move inside me. It long enough and wide enough, and heavy enough that I can feel the weight of it, the presence of it inside me, making me feel filled – like I’m supposed to be that way or something. It’s the best feeling in the world – until I cum, squeezing it so tight, and then it’s even better. It may sound like I like my toy a lot, but you’d be wrong. And I love my toyfriend.
I may never have fucked another person, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t fucked, or that I don’t fucking love how it feels. In fact, sometimes – I guess it’s when I’m ovulating – I really can’t get enough of it. When I fuck my toy deep, I imagine it’s a real cock, bare and ready to fill me with cum, knowing I’m ready to receive it. I cum even harder those times.
I know when, if, I do get a real boyfriend, I’ll go on the pill. But if he can make me feel the same as – or better than – my toy, maybe I won’t.