The Erotic Writer

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Deposit Slip

Deposit Slip
Erotica by Redbud

  • tumblr_lqebxl3kSW1qfbon7o1_1280This was originally written to be included in Foreplay.  I decided I wanted the focus to be on a single story with much shorter interludes. I gilded this a bit, descriptively. Enjoy.

She’s at the bank. She stands in line. The line is one among five. The plate glass windows, at her back, are floor to ceiling. They vibrate with traffic and flash with sunlight from windshields. A revolving door swishes quicker, then slows, then quickens. The marble floor is mirror smooth. The high heels of women click. The leather soles of men scuff. The pattern of the floor is that of a compass, shades of beige divided by borders of brass.

The air smells of ink, paper, cologne and make-up. She stands on the floor in black high heels. She wears a gray skirt that covers her knees. The woolen skirt fits tightly over buttocks, hips and waist. She wears a white blouse, a pearl necklace, and holds her jacket in the crook of her elbow. A black leather satchel is swung over her shoulder. Her hair is a dark brown and drawn back in a bun.

A man approaches behind her. He’s the next in line. She doesn’t notice him until he speaks. His voice is welcome, loved and a surprise. He tells her not to turn. He speaks quietly in her ear. She can hear the smile in his words. He tells her that he also has to make a deposit. She doesn’t turn. Her smile changes to another kind of smile as he continues. He tells her that he’s wearing her favorite suit – the sharp, Italian suit that is black. She knows he wears the leather shoes that pop when he puts them on. Oh yes, she imagines hearing them as he guides her into her own apartment. She imagines the press of his fingers, uncompromising, at the small of her back; and how that touch tingles in her tailbone.

For now, in the lobby of the bank, he tells her, whispering, that her business suit hides nothing. Everybody knows what she’s really like. He tells her he wants to bend her over, ruggedly pushed her to her hands and knees, and to hike her skirt over her hips. He has half a mind to do it – right now, right here in the lobby. With hips like hers, he says, nobody would be surprised. No one would object if he filled her from behind. No would be surprised if he tightly held her hair. With tits like hers, no one would think twice if she panted, if her knees slipped on the cool marble, always wider as she tried to close them. No one would bat an eye if he spurted somewhere in her belly, somewhere under the tight seam of her skirt.

He gives her a telltale kiss behind her ear, where the blood is tender beneath the skin, and the slightest wisps of hair rise. When she steps up to the black slate counter, she signs her checks with a shaky scrawl. She makes a mistake summing her deposit – just a little slip. The teller might or might not notice the telltale curvature of her spine or smell the involuntary scent of her thighs.

16 comments on “Deposit Slip

  1. Penelope Lake
    August 8, 2013

    Talking dirty when you can’t do anything about it. Great idea. And the uncompromising press of fingers at the small of her back can never be a superfluous detail.

  2. paul1510
    August 8, 2013

    Will,
    hot, but disappointingly short!
    Paul.

    • willcrimson
      August 8, 2013

      Yes, I suppose, but it was originally meant to be part of something larger. It’s like a little scena. :-)

  3. Rebecca
    August 10, 2013

    I love this! It’s that little glimpse. A promise of more, that our imaginations colourfully fill in.

    • willcrimson
      August 10, 2013

      Thanks for that Rebecca, It’s always nice to know different readers like a little bit of everything.

  4. exxiex
    August 18, 2013

    I read this on friday and my oh my I found it so erotic and hot. I write erotic short stories as a ghostwriter and I can only dream of writing this well one day..In fact I do believe I will read again..exxie

    • willcrimson
      August 18, 2013

      If this is your first comment here, then welcome! How did you get into ghostwriting erotic short stories?

    • exxiex
      August 18, 2013

      Hello..yes this is my first ..(well maybe second) I also commented on your latest. Anyway, I started online publishing my poetry..then I purely by chance got into article writing. As I progressed on some of the freelance sites I decided to start bidding for creative writing jobs since creative writing is what I truly love. So now erotic/romance is primarily what I ghostwrite and a few ebooks and novels etc.(Oh! and web content for adult sites). But then I heard about “It girl” which led me here. So now I am planning on starting a blog, but I was led to the Erotic Writer as a place to learn more about my craft and read good erotica.. and it is great! I enjoy the writing here very much! :)exxie

    • willcrimson
      August 18, 2013

      Poetry? Can we read some of it? I’m always interested in poetry. But this is all very interesting to me. What kind of money have you been able to earn? What you say that you ghost write, does that mean your work is appearing under another writer’s name or that your work is being published in this or that generic imprint? But I’m happy that you’re enjoying our writing. :-) Sometimes I despair — I doubt the worth of my writing, and at other times I couldn’t be happier. I go back and forth. I’m happy to read that you’re starting your own blog. If you know of another writer, you might consider sharing your blog? I love having other writers to share space, especially in that I admire each of them.

    • exxiex
      August 18, 2013

      Sure you can read some..I am trying to get this blog started and then I plan on posting some of my poetry first. If there is some other way I can share let me know and I would be happy to. My stories are not mine to share once I send them to client ..although I do share through email with friends time and again..lol… I do have a group page on fb called Exotic verses in the wind where some of my poetry is. I know what you mean about the feelings about your own writing. It is such a competitive profession but it is truly all that I can do.(I sort of can anyway )Right now I am on a down swing about how I feel about my writing. But I hope I swing back up soon..smiles..Your writing is amazing though so no reason you should feel down about it. Thanks for the nice words..yes by the way I do know some writers and that is a good idea I share a blog..thanks!

  5. vanillamom
    August 19, 2013

    I am finally catching up on things…August has been mind-boggling busy…and I return to this…an erotic snapshot, a moment captured in time. It made me shiver, that kiss just behind the ear…wonderfully crafted. I like your micro works…you tell *just* enough.

    nilla

    • willcrimson
      August 19, 2013

      Yay! I’m always thinking of you Nilla (with a smile). Glad it’s just business keeping you busy. :-)

    • vanillamom
      August 19, 2013

      nice to be thought of with a smile. :)

      Thankfully, the heavy load of August is now past. I’ve changed jobs, starting a little business of my own, and left a job that I had (mostly) enjoyed but was a bitch of a commute, as well as taking away valuable family time…Gosh, I’m an entrepreneur! . And … I’m happy. :)

      nilla

  6. Sam
    August 20, 2013

    Sigh. it was “hot” but left me hanging. I always look forward to the stories on this website. Greetings from Asia :-)

    • willcrimson
      August 20, 2013

      Thanks, Sam, for commenting. :-) I think I know what you mean by “left hanging”, but I’m curious. If I were to write a sequel, what would you want to read? I mean, who knows, maybe I’ll write it. To be honest, I wish more readers would share their ideas with me.

      Maybe we need a wish list?

  7. Rudy
    December 8, 2013

    Wonderfully crafted. Subtle details, submitted a bit at a time, adding just a little more heat with each suggestion.

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