or tone of voice
about those words,
those words —
even as she straightens,
the back of her skirt —
the stunned feathers
of a captured
~ Will Crimson
Categories: One Sentence Sex, RedBud
What’ve you been eating/sniffing/watching/reading lately?
You are on a roll!!
This was a verrah long sentence, yet well constructed…and i loved the ending…i suspect that is the phrase that generated the sentence?
Yes. :-) I almost attached the words at the end of the sentence. Do you think I should put the title in quotes? Like this: “Bend Over”
As to what I’ve been eating/sniffing/watching/reading? You know, I look back at what I was writing a year or two years ago and I really feel like I’ve gotten better and better. Sometimes I’m not so sure, but comments like yours make me feel good about what I’m writing.
I’ve never left a comment here before, and I’ve read a number of wonderful things. This sentence is amazing. Nilla nailed it…. “long and well constructed.” What a perfectly apt description!
Thank you for so eloquently putting into words our most inner feelings. The only thing that would make this more moving is a semicolon. (Sincerity and sarcasm intended.)
I like the title without quotes. It seems a bit more stark; matches and leads well into the sentence.
Hi Enna. Thank you for commenting! Every response makes writing these so much more rewarding. Please speak up again any time you feel like it. Since you’ve expressed a strong opinion, I’m going to change the title back – without quotes. :-)
Holy GOD you’re good at this.
Wow, LGS, I’m glad you like them so much! I’m getting kinda’ hooked on them.
Whoa! Great moment. It’s that period of recovery just after release, when there is awkwardness, a hint of embarrassment, and deep satisfaction.
This One Sentence Sex is a fantastic idea. Will it be disruptive if I comment on your old material?
Hi Rudy, not at all. There’s no such thing as “old” material. :-) I truly appreciate knowing what readers have enjoyed.
I don’t know if I commented at an earlier time and frankly I am so lazy (sadly so lol) I won’t go see.. but I like this very much especially the last few words..
Truly excellent. It left me with shivers.
I’m hung up on the imagery you use to describe the moments after sex. We read so much about the act itself that nearly every turn of phrase or symbol is worn out, while this moment is largely unexplored. You do it justice, and I hope you keep forging your own path.
To me, the moments afterward, when one must guess what happened and the bedraggled clothes, sheets and thighs, can be the most erotic. Thanks for the comment, it’s like a reminder not to forget.