Charlotte Raine, blogger at Femme Érotique, wrote a sentence in her short and sweet story, Covers, that tickled me. Here it is:
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✍ He kicked her knees apart and, pushing her thong aside, entered her deeply.
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And that’s that – an erotic story in one sentence. I like it. You could imagine all sorts of things if you hadn’t read the story. Was she at the beach? – a dinner party? – a classroom? – on the hood of a car? – standing? – bent over? – face down on the mattress? So I thought I’d write a one sentence erotic story. If you give it a try, let me know.
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✍ Out of breath, she fell to her hands and knees, and groaned as he claimed her. ~ Redbud
Categories: Erotica, One Sentence Sex, RedBud
The Erotic Writer 
Under his tongue and under His control, she releases with fury, cunt clenching as rhythmically as a heartbeat.
Vineyard, just to add a little spice and a question…
“Desperate not to be heard under his tongue and control, she releases with fury, cunt clenching as rhythmically as a heartbeat.”
What say you?
aaahhhh…Will, i have yet to read your previous post…vanilla life is claiming more than its fair share of me these last few weeks…
but a one sentence story?
That i had time for…and what a delightful little “quickie” that was!
Welcome back!
nilla
Nilla, you can be honest with us. What sci-fi convention was it, who did you dress as, and why haven’t you told us about it? ;-)
Divine… I think you’ve taken a great concept/idea, and made it better.
What do you think of this?
“Her thumb trapped, she feels him begin to penetrate, taking his time.“
“As he finally pulsed inside her, her mouth exploded sweetness.”
Or
“She was pleasantly surprised when the same fingers that had gently caressed the worn pages of a thousand books now made pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips as he pounded into her.”
Or
“‘Anything?’ He whispered as his hand moved between her thighs and his fingers slid inside her. Her hips bucked into his hand, and she reached up to gently pull his hair.
Anything.”
I know that was two sentences, but I threw it in there just for kicks. (I just noticed that each one was longer than the other, ha ha.)
I’m thinking the art to one sentence sex is the little bit of mystery, the little tweak that’s both erotic and begs for the rest of the story.
“She still held the plum as he finally pulsed insider her, her mouth exploded sweetness.”
Gives it that little twist, don’t you think? -a little bit of mystery. What was sweet, the plum or him, and why is she holding it all the while?
And how about this:
“She was pleasantly surprised when the same fingers that had gently caressed the worn pages of a thousand books now made pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips.”
Taking off that last part leaves the question in the air and, to me, makes it all the more erotic. Why is she pleasantly surprised? Who reads a thousand books? Why is he making pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips?
And the last one, I think, is great (!) just like this:
“‘Anything?’ He whispered as his hand moved between her thighs and his fingers slid inside her.“
Ha ha!
I loved the addition of a plum in the first one – it really gave it that extra ‘oomph’.
About the second one:
I added “she was pleasantly surprised” as an afterthought before pressing Post. Now that I think about about, I like it better without it – just a little imagery and action without thought.
Like this?
“The fingers that had gently caressed the worn pages of a thousand books now made pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips.”
I kind of like it with “she was pleasantly surprised”. How about this?
“She reread the words aloud as the fingers that had gently caressed the worn pages of a thousand books now made pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips.”
Is it her own fingers? Is it someone else’s?
Oh, I’d want the reader to know that it was *his* fingers doing the digging, not hers…but it’s fascinating how one image can be shuffled and reshuffled to suggest a hundred slightly different things.
Although I’m lousy at being succinct, I still find this “one sentence story” concept intriguing.
This? :-)
“She reread the words aloud as his fingers, the tips of which had gently caressed the worn pages of a thousand books, now made pinpoint bruises in the flesh of her hips.”
I have just over a score of similar storylets over at Microlensing. Different rule, though, restricted by the medium in which they were composed – more than one sentence was ok, but in all 140 characters or less. Here’s one that fulfills both criteria:
Scanning the dance floor as the evening wears, I learn from hips and sways the rhythm each woman in the place fucks to, looking for a match.
What does that mean?
I don’t want to put words in his mouth, but I think he meant it was restricted to 140 characters if he was writing on Twitter.
Head and lips flirting on the edge, they signalled their downfall with a kiss and their hips met.
I used to tweet and that was one of my favourite things about Twittering, the composing of 140 character erotic, sometimes romantic and other, stories, as well as Japanese style short poems like Senryu. I found it expanded and stretched my creativity and imagination as well as my vocabulary, and honed, a little, my storytelling skills, as well as being enormous fun and a great way to interact with others doing similarly. I miss the immediacy of it as a creative medium and the interaction with others creating similarly, the absence of Twitter in my creative life seems to have silenced one of my muses. Ever think of tweeting, Will? presuming you don’t already, of course.
Hi Sky, I flirted with the social sites and toys like twitter, very briefly, but decided they weren’t for me. I’m old school. I mainly use my computer either as a glorified typewriter or to keep abreast of goings on in the world. It’s easy for me to scatter my energies in too many directions. Very easy. My mind is like a lightning bolt trapped in a teacup. That’s good in some ways, bad in others; I try to keep focused. :-)
Ooh I love this idea Will, and the comments about maintaining a sense of mystery – so much harder in this form than it looks! It’s the perfect length for sexting, too. I have to try this irl.
//…and the comments about maintaining a sense of mystery – so much harder in this form than it looks!//
I think that’s what makes it work, otherwise it doesn’t lift from the page. If the sentence invites a question, suggests a mystery, hints at a larger story that you can’t quite guess at, then the sentence, I think, takes on a life larger than itself. Haiku works in a similar way.
i’ve been following comments while trucking about the universe in my Class IV Rover. But my cell phone won’t send texts from Mars, i am read-only.
*grin*
Sometimes real life is too damn boring!
nilla
(okay, i’ll try, but my head has been on the dry side this week…)
“His hand cupped her, and she understood it was more than preparation, it was claiming of territory by an adventurous explorer.”
He found the spot with little effort, as though his fingers could hear her silent longing.