Four writers for the price of one blog
Let Him Watch
A Daydream & Distraction by RedBud
“Hey girl, you want me to stay?” my roommate asks.
I tell her to go.
I light a cigarette and ball the pack’s silver foil between my fingers. The smoke twists out the bedroom door. The hallway and my smart phone are all that light the room. My lover’s friend watches me from the corner of the bed. He’s on my roommate’s bed and drinking.
“Almost ready to go?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I answer. “Are you?”
“Yeah,” he says, “sort of.”
“So—” I ask without looking up from my smart phone. “Why are you still here, Jeff?”
“Because of you.”
“Because I like you,” he says. He lifts the beer to his lips and drinks.
“Yeah,” I say. “And so does your best friend.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah. I like him. Do you?”
“Then why are you here?”
“How about you?” He moves his hand to his crotch. “Why are you still here?”
I give him the finger. “What do you want?”
“I want to watch you.”
I want to say something but my heart pounds.
“Go to your bed. Sit on the edge. Open your legs. Masturbate.”
“What do you care?”
“The door stays open,” I say, hating the pitch of my voice.
Maybe I like knowing a guy will risk everything and maybe it’s malice. Let him see what he can’t have. Make him sorry he asked. Hurt him. Go ahead. Wank. This belongs to your best friend.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Put the phone between your thighs so I can see your pussy.”
I can just see his eyes, dark hair and fingers squeezing the crotch of his jeans. I move to my bed. I stub out my cigarette on the headboard.
“Push your jeans to your ankles and spread your legs.”
I do it slowly.
He opens the fly of his jeans. His cock is as dark as the rest of him. His hand is moving slowly up and down. It’s the first time I’ve seen a stranger masturbate and doing it because of me. Someone passes by the door but doesn’t enter.
“Lift your shirt.”
“Pinch your tit.”
“Just wank,” I say, wishing it wasn’t him but my boyfriend—or at least that’s what I tell myself.
“You like being told what to do.”
“What about you?”
“Spread your legs. Put your other hand on your pussy and masturbate.” His hand is moving faster.
“Can’t get any,” I ask, sarcastic.
“Tell me when you’re going to come.”
“What makes you think I’m going to come,” I ask, rubbing harder.
“You like watching me?”
“Fuck you,” I say. I like being watched. He’ll come and then it will be over—at least that’s what I tell myself. Instead, the room goes dark.
“What the fuck?” says my boyfriend.
I close my legs and then I’m yelling at them to stop. Jeff’s jacket is in Danny’s fists. They’re on my roommate’s bed. They’re slamming each other against the wall. I throw myself between them. Their anger is fast and violent. I shout at them again. They part and I push my boyfriend back. We stumble against the room’s half open door, slamming it shut.
“What the fuck?” my boyfriend asks again.
“Don’t,” I say, shaking. “Danny. Don’t!” I can just make out his face. A streetlight down the road streaks the room’s walls with pale, sharp edges.
“What were you doing?”
“Nothing,” I say, kissing him, licking him, tasting blood. “He wasn’t going to touch me. He just wanted to watch.”
“Yeah? He wants to watch? Then let him fucking watch.”
He turns me around. He’s got an arm around my waist and pushes me between my shoulder blades. He bends me over. You don’t understand until you’re there. It’s a rush. You want to ride it, annihilate it, and be possessed by it.
“You want to watch?” he asks Jeff.
He doesn’t wait for an answer. He pushes my jeans down. I didn’t button them. I didn’t have time. He spread my legs. I’m wet and inhale, loud, when he fills me. I want to reach for something. He won’t let me. He crosses my wrists at the small of my back.
“Look up,” he says.
I look up. Jeff’s leaning against the wall wiping his lips with the cuff of his jacket.
“Fuck!” I’ll do anything. I want to say I’m sorry. I want to say I’m not. I want Danny to fuck me. I want to make it go away. “Fuck me.”
Jeff is stroking his cock. Danny’s grip on my wrists softens. Jeff is walking toward me. I can’t see what they see. I’m bent over. I want to say I’ve never done this before. I want to say I didn’t mean it. Jeff’s cock is against my cheek. His hands are in my hair. Then I don’t need to talk. His cock is in my mouth.
Danny’s hands move to my hips.
I never thought I’d do this—or at least not like this. I want them to come. I want them to fuck me and forget.
And they do.
Their hands tighten. They stiffen. They come. I swallow them, mouth and cunt. And then we fall together. Danny’s is at my back. His best friend faces me.
All of us. They kiss me and kiss each other. I pull them both against me. I turn to Danny and Jeff pulls at my hips. I cup Danny’s face and Jeff’s cock opens me. I press my forehead against his and let him hear me as his friend takes me from behind.
Danny licks the tears from my eyes.
The door will stay shut tonight.