Fall

Fall

Sometimes, very rarely, I can feel myself falling asleep.

That last letting go; a change in sound from the fan in my room, the street noises out the window, to the whispers inside my head. The sound quality changes – as if I’m entering a closed, but infinitely large room.

And the sight – well, this time it was different than I ever remember it, I descended through darkness – perhaps taking the “falling” of falling asleep too literally – toward and then onto a dimly lit plateau full of statuary and Greek columns. All twilit dark stone and bronze against a black sky, only the edges of things distinct, that dull metallic glow.

Aware enough to be horny – there’s no nice poetic word for it, really – I had been thinking of you as I settled in to bed, after all.

You know that semi-lucid state, when you can control, or at least influence the direction of your dream? I felt it there, then. So I was looking for, and knowing I could somehow find or create, something from my desire.

I descended among the shapes, slowly filling in color; dark reds and blues creeping into the black, paler colors emerging from edge’s glow – I could sort of feel the dream taking deeper hold, because I was no longer   trying to guide it. But I already set the course; there was a woman there, her dark bronze illuminating to skin as black sky faded to grey then white then blue.

Her face was no one I know in particular, but she was you, too. I just felt it – you know how that is in dreams? You opened your arms to me, and smiled as I picked you up and kissed you. We were both naked (no trifling in this dream – the carnal intent that created it still permeated its fabric), and after feeling you wiggle against me, still holding you and standing, I flipped you around so that your opening legs were level with my mouth.

You felt so light, like a bird in my arms, and I lowered my mouth to your cunt and began to devour, your legs open and resting on my shoulders. I didn’t ‘expect’ it, but I felt your hot mouth descend around my cock as I ate you, and it made me buck my hips. I remember walking among the columns, now white marble (columns and arches were all that was left, no more statues), licking and being sucked.

And then, as my pleasure reached a certain point – as often happens in sexual dreams for me – the desire to move, to thrust, or grab, or anything more becomes too strong; it crosses from dream into reality, and my body actually moves, on my bed, which stirs me away from sleep.

Dream and the real world blended for a moment – as my arms tried to hug you tighter, they brushed fabric instead of skin; as my hips sought to push me deeper into your mouth, the mattress bowed under me. The conflicting input half-wakened me then; the dream and you tattering away, leaving my arm around a fold of empty sheets, my arousal trapped between body and bed.

I refused to leave, clawing my way back asleep, but you know how these things go.

I couldn’t get back there, to my dreamed plateau, to you.

Not this time.

But I sleep again tonight.

And tomorrow.