In Your Hands

In Your Hands

The restaurant, her choice, was as fine as she’d said it would be, and the play, my choice, was as good as the reviews had promised. Her dress, black and slinky, teased me all evening, with her bare shoulders and back semi-hidden under a filmy shawl, and the skirt slit up to just there. She had learned that part of me rapidly and well. We had learned each other, actually, and surprisingly. A short stroll from the theater brought us to a bar for a drink and dessert, but the aromas and tastes of liquor and sweets faded with the passing minutes as my senses shifted their focus to her. Her voice, her scent, her face and pale green eyes, the tang of thoughts. For the first time I began to wonder if she could be the one to know all of me.

She’d seen glimpses into my shadows. I could never hide everything during moments of that kind of intimacy. And if she’d shivered from more than arousal, she hadn’t quite flinched, nor recoiled at those hints. As our conversation turned inward, quieter, to the sweet overtures of new lovers still stuck in public, I found stirrings inside me long dormant – needs deeper than the superficial and the flesh. I needed to know.

The cab driver would not soon forget the ride to her apartment. We were relatively quiet, but I’m sure we came close to death from inattentive driving on more than one occasion. Until I met his eyes in the rearview. Then it was smooth as glass. She unlocked the entryway and led me up the stairs to her place a half step ahead of me. I had one hand on the small of her back, the other before my nose where I deeply inhaled the scent of her my fingers had found in the taxi. More intoxicating than any alcohol.

***

We kissed passionately at the threshold of my apartment, then again at my bedroom door. His hands were already in my partially open top, and hitching up my skirt – though they’d already gone farther in the taxi ride home from the play. I had only recently stopped counting the number of dates we’d had, but still knew the number of times we’d made love. Three. Each more exciting than the last. Each different, half-dangerous; skirting the edges of my experience, finding almost fearful excitement. Though we were becoming more and more familiar with each other, and I comfortable with him, he still had his dark and dangerous look – the unknown seducer – and when he turned his ice-blue eyes on me with that look, he made my knees wobble. Just like they were doing now.

Embracing and fondling, we moved toward the bed. Even in the tangle of falling clothes, neither of us stumbled. Our unconscious coordination was only additional foreplay as we grappled, groped, and stripped each other.

Finally we were skin against skin at the foot of the bed, arms wrapped about each other’s backs. I rested my head just above his chest and kissed the hollow above his collarbone, inhaling the barest scent of a faraway forest, dark and wild.  I slid my right leg up the outside of his left, and felt his hardness rising between my thighs. He turned his head down to nuzzle and lick my neck, animal like, making be shiver. He moved his hands to my shoulders, and turned to growl-whisper in my ear.

***

“Tonight, from behind.”

I moaned quietly in answer as he gently pushed with one hand and pulled with the other to turn me around. I resisted for a moment, just to let him know I could, then followed his lead, letting my shoulder and arm brush against his chest and stomach, my hand encountering his hard shaft and giving it a not-so-gentle squeeze.

***

Now I faced the bed, with him behind me. His hands moved from my shoulders, to my breasts for a caress and a slow squeeze and pinch of my nipples, down further across my tummy and hips to cup my ass. I placed one knee on the mattress and slowly, seductively, crawled onto the bed, making sure he caught several eyefuls as I moved to the center and looked back over my shoulder at him with half-lidded eyes. His form, silhouetted against the bedroom door gave me goose-bumps.

***

I watched her climb on the bed, sensuality and desire radiating from her like an aura. The shifting curve of her rear mesmerized me. The glisten of moisture at the junction of her legs beckoned me. I had to restrain myself from leaping like a starving beast. Patience, anticipation. Sweet torture.

***

He moved forward and I turned away as the bed shifted, taking his weight. I held my breath. I felt the mattress pushed down between my parted knees. I only jumped a little at his hot touch. His hands stroked up my legs and curved with my bent-over body until his palms covered hip bones and grasped firmly – as if to lock me in his grip. I felt the head of his cock, fat and hard at the entrance to my pussy. I was so ready for him. He pushed forward, and pulled me back simultaneously. Teasing, I pulled forward a little, my splayed opening just kissing his tip, until he growled louder – a combination of aggression and humor in the guttural sound. He thrust and pulled on me in one punctuated motion, burying himself almost all the way in me with one shove. Now it was my turn to let out a cross between a growl and a grunt, which turned into a deep purring exhalation as he withdrew and more gently sank back in his full length, opening me to his heat and urgency.

***

I held her tight, pulling her toward me and pushing forward as her heat swallowed me. Taking me in and squeezing, like a lover. Tension of one kind flowed out and away from me, while another exquisite flavor of it rose. Soon. Soon I would know. But for a moment I simply reveled in the almost-mundane. Almost. The passion echoing between us, even when I could not look into her eyes, was something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

***

In a handful of heartbeats, my lover’s hips were rhythmically slapping into my rear end as he thrust into me from behind. His hands stayed firmly, possessively on my hips, holding and guiding me where he wanted, pulling and pushing if I made to break free, or interfere with his stroke. God he felt good. His heat radiated within me and behind me. His hands, strong and commanding, making me feel like I couldn’t break free even if I might have been able – and not that I wanted to. I heard my own sounds of arousal, diving into my own pleasure as this lover had enabled me to do like no other.

***

Now. It was time to know. A tiny prickle of fear excited me. I actually cared about her reaction. How novel. How dangerous. How truly exciting. I closed my eyes, and reached out for her.

***

A hand snaked from just below my ribcage to rest briefly on my tummy, before starting to make small circles there. I moaned low and loud, shivering because of what that does to me. Another hand followed from the opposite side, lower than the first over my mound, a finger sliding down right over my engorged clit, making me jump, and then rock my hips as it teasingly swept over it, left to right, and back, as the shaft plunged in and out just below. My mind whirled with sensation as I humped back, or tried to; my motions were still controlled by the vice-like hands on my hips. My brows knotted in confusion as I did the simple math and came up with a mystery. I turned my head as if to look over my shoulder, only to meet his face – his chin coming to rest on my shoulder, and his nose nuzzling my ear as hands slid up my ribs to cup and fondle both breasts. I moaned louder as he rolled my hard nipples in his expert fingers. God, he knew exactly what to do to me.

But… Hands on my breasts… and still circling my belly and swishing my… and still holding on firm and pulling and pushing-! Oh, god, what was happening? He pulled me up until my back pressed against his sweaty, broad, overarching chest. His body enveloped mine, though he still thrust hard into me, where I enveloped him. My hands left the mattress, to feel his hands on my hips, then to move, disbelieving, to those at my midsection, and then over those massaging my breasts. They were all his, somehow, or they seemed to be, but they couldn’t! Disconcerted, I tried to pull at them, to disengage at least two of them. But then fingers closed around my wrists, gently but firmly pulling my hands off his, drawing them back to the mattress, up above my head, pinning my arms outstretched.

***

I tasted the fright coloring the arousal in the sounds she made. Her body was tense and hot under mine, held tight in my grasp. Her emotions roiled. My instincts threatened to submerge rational control, but I didn’t let them go yet. She fought me – a little. Out of shock and surprise. My tongue tasted her edge of fear, even panic, in the sweat of her neck – but only the edge. She did not recoil. She did not scream. Inside, a vice of wet heat squeezed me. I opened to her, my lust and desire seethed in both of our minds. And though her body pulled and tensed, her passion answered mine.

***

I moaned in distress and the brink of fear, but also in the intensity of sensation. I pulled with my arms and bucked with my hips, trying to escape. He had me firmly in his grip – in too many ways. And it felt so good. Everywhere he caressed me was on fire with pleasure. He filled me completely and relentlessly, strumming my clit and nipples in counterpoint to his thrusts. My lover’s hot breath blew across my neck and ear, heavy and labored. Teeth grazed my earlobe – too sharp, though they didn’t really bite. The mouth and lips were his, but unfamiliar, the tongue too hot, too long as it licked my neck. His voice a growl as he told me how good I tasted, how good I felt to him. I was nearly breathless, the half formed questions and protests coming out as unintelligible mewls and cries. I could feel myself squeezing him spasmodically, his presence swelling in response, pushing deeper into my body, even, it seemed into my mind, driving me further.

***

The hot sparks of our rational minds met briefly, and instead of fleeing, she… stayed. She opened and encircled me. She took me in. And I let go. At long last, I showed, and gave, everything. Together we dove into ripcurrent of desire and pleasure and willed it, commanded it, to drag us completely under.

***

Something flashed inside me. A picture, a sound, a thing. In my mind’s eye I saw my lover for the first time. Really saw him. And… I ran to him. The pleasure coursing through my body electrified. On one level, it was like nothing I’d ever felt before. On another level, the ecstasy didn’t matter at all.

***

Nothing else existed but her body and soul. One I held as if never to let go, penetrating and possessing like few- no, like none before. The other held me, my shadow and gray bathed in light and color, a complimentary opposite. Day to night, fire to water. Perfection. Her heat, touch, scent, taste, sounds, filled my senses. I was going to make her mine. And yes, that unfamiliar tinge of fear tickled me again, she was going to make me hers. I felt it rising in flesh and spirit, readying to ignite. I was too far gone now. If I had misread her, all I could do later would be to apologize and disappear. But those morose thoughts were fleeting, drowned by raw sensation as I plunged myself in her, body and soul.

***

He breathed harder, snorting and panting like a beast. I felt the throb of his heartbeat against my back – and in the pulsing cock inside me. He shook with exertion, but held me just as firmly. He was waiting. For me. And then, tight against him, I was coming, crying out with each deep thrust, pulled and teased and kneaded and held. My inner muscles clamped hard around him, and he answered my cries with a snarl of his own as he drove through my contractions harder and hotter.

***

I spoke her name, with my true voice. And gave her mine.

Kaleidoscoping black and white blinded me, and I burst!

***

My eyes flew open at the sound of a voice that was his, but at the same time utterly new. Two names – mine and – his. His real name. Even in the throes of my own orgasm the shock took me somewhere else. Somewhere I hoped never to come back from.

He didn’t stop until his own completion erupted within me, buried to the hilt, my hips pulled back tight against him as he emptied deep into me, his clenched teeth against skin of my neck allowing only animal sounds to escape.

***

An eternity. Exploding apart and melding together in a crystalizing unity. Draining and filling. Exhausting and energizing. Lost, and found.

***

He held me there firmly, but gently, until he was through. Then, two by two, the hands released me, lowering my sweat-drenched body to the sheets. He sank next to me, panting, and I turned toward him timidly, uncertain what I’d see. My hands, shaking just a little travelled up his chest to his left shoulder and arm – just one arm.

***

The next thing I truly remember is lying next to her, holding her in my arms – two arms, and realizing I was looking into her wondering eyes. My own feelings matched her look, and I wonderd if she could see that. Yes, she could. She reached down and gathered my hand in both of hers, and squeezed it.

***

The bright eyes in his dark face met mine, and he smiled, gathering me into his embrace, in his hands, where I belonged. We drifted together, slowly settling into the peace of sleep.

– Monocle

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